What could possibly be?

•September 13, 2017 • Leave a Comment

Ano ba ang batayan ng isang relasyon?.. anu ba ang mga alituntunin para malaman na tama ang mga ginagawa mo?at hindi lang ikaw ang gumagawa ng lahat.

Maraming beses.. oo..maraming beses na akong nagmahal at nagtiwala sa bandang huli ako pa din ang naiwang luhaan, naiwang nasasaktan. sa lahat ng iyon.. iisa lang ang narinig ko.. ” Hindi ikaw ang problema, ako..” kung sa pelikula.. “it’s not you..it’s me..” . talaga ba??..so ano?? paulit ulit na kayo ang may kasalanan? pero ako ang nasasaktan??.. “you deserve more than i can give..” ..ano ba ang deserve ko? may hiniling ba ako sa inyo na sobrang laki?o mahal? na hindi nyo kinaya??.. parang wala naman… dahil sa pagkaka tanda ko never akong nanghingi ng kahit anong material na bagay sa inyo. oras.. oo.. oras at pagmamahal..yun lang.. kahit minsan hindi nyo nabibigay wala naman kayo narining sa akin  diba?.. oo nagtatampo ako..pero never ko naman kayo natitiis diba? lahat pinapa lagpas ko.. lahat nagiging ok na ulit.. sobrang bait ko ba?..nakakasakal? parang hindi rin naman.. never ko naman kayo pinigilan sa gusto nyo.. yun na nga lang sana alam nyo ang first priority sa hindi. natural may GF ka.. unahin mo pa yung iba?. sa mga barkada nyo.. may narinig ba kayo? mga barkada mo kina kaibigan ko. para walang masabi diba? lahat ng barkada ko pinakikilala ko sa inyo.. pati buong family ko.. para walang taguan diba?.. pero bakit mali pa din?.. yung  lahat sa inyo tinanggap ko.. minahal ko.. ako pa din yung may mali??.. nakakasawa..oo.. minsan mapapa isip ka na lang talaga.. ako na yata ang may mali… haist.. nakakaloka na isipin kaya tama na.. enough is enough na nga siguro. baka may mali na nga sa akin kaya ganun.. titigilan ko na muna ang maniwala sa pag ibig.. nakakapagod.. nakakasawa..

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Ang saket ah!..

•December 3, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Nasasaktan ako..di ba halata?..magaling kasi ako magtago..pwede na nga akong maging artista. Hay.. kelan ba ako matututong maging matapang sa pagmamahal?. Ang hirap naman.. di kasi ako marunong magmahal ng konti at magmahal ng kunyari. Sa pangalawang pagkakataon naramdaman ko ulit kung panu masaktan. Akala ko kasi ok na, kaya na ulit ng puso ko. Di pa pala. Sabi ko noon sana maging bato ang puso ko, para di na sya nasasaktan sa tuwing nagpapakatanga ang isip ko. Sadyang malambot talaga sya at di marunong mag ingat. At sa tuwing magmamahal sya di na nya inaantana kung sino o anumang klasing tao ang mamahalin nya. Di nya iniisip kong masasaktan sya o hindi. Basta tumibok sya ok na. nakakatulala, nakaka baliw. Tatawa, iiyak. Nakakatakot ng mag mahal…nakakapagod.ang hirap maka get over.. ang hirap maka move on sa mga nakasanayan mo ng gawin. Andun yung pag gising mo sa umaga, bago ka matulog sa gabi sya ang nasa isip mo, yung mga nakasanayan nyo ng gawin at pag usapan sa araw araw. Ang hirap. Kahit saan ka tumingin sya ang nakikita at naaalala mo. Kung pwede lng burahin ang memories, ginawa ko na. sana di magtagal maka pag move on ako.

Some of my blogs 2 years ago…

•July 3, 2010 • Leave a Comment

March 27, 2008

bket pag nagmahal ang daming dapat pag aralan?..napaka complicated.. sa unang beses na magmamahal ka

hindi pwedeng di ka masasaktan di ka iiyak. then all in a while susubukan mo ulit magmahal, para kalimutan
ang una.minsan nagtatagal minsan naman hindi. masarap ang may nagmamahal, mei nagaalaga sayo at mei
napag sasabihan ng mga bagay na gumugulo sayo,mei nasasandalan. pero sa ibang banda mahirap din ang magmahal
lalo na kung ang minamahal mo pala ay hindi kapareho ng nararamdaman mo. dun mangyayari na masasaktan ka.
at sa sakit na naramdaman mo dun ka kukuha ng lakas para bumangon at magmahal muli. syempre di mo na gagawin
ang ginawa mo noon para di na maulit pa ang nakaraan. may iba naman na ginagawang laro ang pag ibig, may minamahal na nagmamahal pa ng iba!. then what? pag nawala ang unang minahal magsisisi sa huli. kung bakit hindi naging tapat dito.
sabi nila marerealize mo lang ang worth ng isang tao pag wala na sya sayo. sa ibang banda tama ito, ” you never knew
the worth of someone in your life until he’s/she’s gone”. mahirap kalaban ang “regret”. kaya kung magmamahal ka isipin mo
muna ang pwedeng mangyari pag pinagpatuloy mo ang nararamdaman mo. isipin  ang future ng inyong magiging relasyon.
if you can handle things in order for you not to get hurt or regret a thing!. when having relationship be open on both side. think positive and negative side. worth it ba o hindi?. be trustworthy for someone.who knows baka sya na ang destine para sayo.
masarap magmahal kaibigan kung kaya mong pang hawakan ang iyong nararamdaman. god bless!!

July 8, 2006

They say true friends are hard to find.. for me its not!every one can be your true friend.. even a person whom you really hate. Friends are very important in our lives they are the people who knows your ups and down someone whos be thier for you always.. in good times and bad times..someone whom you can trust..you can have them if you want.. and if your true to yourself and to others..Cherish every person who passed by into your daily lives.. who knows maybe one of them could be the FRIEND you longed to have….   *—An!kA—*

sad but true

February 10, 2006

i wish i was the moon

to enlighten yOur darkest night

Or just be a star

glitterin’ in yOur eyes.

i wish i was the sun

to keep you warm when yOu are cold

or just be the wind

whisperin’ secrets left untold

i wish i was an angel

to guard yOu frOm head to tip

sOmeone to watch over you

busy while you sleep

oh.. pathetic me..

who wished for something new

sticks to my imaginations

which is sad but true…

Author:  Paui…

Silliness…

•July 3, 2010 • Leave a Comment

After a very long time, we meet again in one rainy afternoon of June… at first I can’t believe that, that day would come. Then I saw him sitting there waiting for us, I don’t know how will I react! My heart just stop beatin’ for a second and it feels like I’m havin’ a heart attack!. I wanted to hug him and tell him how much I missed him. I wanted to cry for I have this so much happiness seeing him again. I can’t help myself but stare at his face and keep on smiling inside. I keep on saying that I have moved on and that I already forgotten what ever it is that I feel for him, but I was wrong! It’s not enough for me to forget him. I thought I’m done with crying over him and I thought that his words won’t hurt me anymore. But it gotten worst, when I heard him sayin’ that all of his relationships were wrong I felt my heart burning and tore into pieces. I can’t look straight into his eyes because my tears are about to burst. IT REALLY HURTS ME!. I wanted to slap him and just walked out! But I can’t! I tried to hide the pain by just listening to him and not saying a thing. If your askin’ why you? Why it’s you that I love?.. I REALLY DON’T KNOW?!! If I can teach myself not to love you I’LL BE GLAD TO DO THAT! Coz I’m tired of it… “PAGOD NA PAGOD NA AKONG MAHALIN KA”… The moment we held on the taxi cab, I can’t control my tears from fallin’ thinking what he have said… “ANG SAKIT SAKIT… SOBRA!”. I keep on askin why?.. Why are you doin’ this to me? Maybe you really don’t love me… Or at least you tried… after all those years I was just havin’ those illusions that you ONCE CARED AND LOVED ME!. You only used me for your own sake. I’m too good for you… That’s what they say… Maybe they’re right I’M REALLY TOO GOOD FOR YOU… You don’t deserve SOMEONE LIKE ME!!..

Drama-dramahan….

•February 6, 2010 • Leave a Comment

tatlong taon na ang nakalipas ng huli kaming nagkita at nagkausap, di man naging maganda ang huling araw na iyon nagsilbi naman iyong tuldok na nagsara sa aming nakaraan. lumipas ang ilang taon at unti-unti ko syang nakalimutan, di man naging matagumpay ang mga naging relationship na napasukan ko may mga aral naman akong natutunan sa mga iyon. sa ngayon hindi man naging malapit sa akin ang pag-ibig nagkaroon naman ako ng panahon sa aking sarili at pamilya. naging sandigan ko ang aking mga kaibigan at pamilya sa bawat pagsubok sa araw araw. masaya na ako sa kung anung meron ako ngayon, diyos na ang bahal kung kelan at sa papa anung paraan nya ilalapit sa akin ang pag-ibig na minsan kong pilit kinalimutan….

” the Last Time”

•September 15, 2009 • 2 Comments

The first time I fell in love was long ago. I didn’t know how to give my love at all. The next time I settled for what felt so close. But without romance, you’re never gonna fall. After everything I’ve learned; Now it’s finally my turn. This is the last time I’ll fall… in love. The first time we walked under that starry sky, there was a moment when everything was clear. I didn’t need to ask or even wonder why, because each question is answered when your near. and I’m wise enough to know when a miracle unfolds, this is the last time i’ll fall in love. Now don’t hold back, just let me know. Could i be moving much too fast or way too slow. ‘Cause all of my life, I’ve waited for this day. To find that once in a lifetime, this is it, I’ll never be the same. You’ll never know what it’s taken me to say these words. And now that I’ve said them, they could never be enough. As far as I can see, there’s only you and only me. This is the last time I’ll fall in love. Last time i’ll fall in love. The last time i’ll fall… in love.

Love-Love

love this song.. i fall in love with it…

Goodbye..tita Cory…

•August 3, 2009 • Leave a Comment

aquino_corazon

Losing the light of a family is very hard, not just the light but the heart of all the members. Losing our beloved former Pres. Cory Aquino is like losing the half of our country. She became our strength to fight for our right as a person and as a Filipino; we owe her what we have right now. The democracy she builds the freedom we endure. From a simple housewife to a very first women president of the Philippines not just here but in Asia. She became a good leader, a god fearing person who teaches us to pray and believe in the power of prayers. As I woke up this morning at 7am, and open the television I was so shocked when I saw the news. I feel like I lost a mother my heart was broken when I heard the news. Just as this Thursday I went to makati medical center because my godchild is in the same hospital as her. She was at the ninth flr. While we were in sixth. We went there to see her but people are not allowed. Until now I don’t know why I’m crying and in deepest hurt, maybe because I love her and I honor her for what she have done to our country, she is one of my idol.

We will truly miss you tita Cory, thank you for praying for our country for being the mother who never leave her children. And for her family we thank you for lending your beloved mother to us. We love you and you will always be missed and remembered. You will always in our heart.